Painting of a lyre (stringed instrument).What is questioned is why some stay and try to

have a relationship and others do not.

The ones who stay in their present relationship are

the individuals who are willing to work on the

differences that have been imposed from possible

negative attachments of the past, and willing to

search for how to separate one’s true self from one’s

false self. The false self being has been projected

onto us since birth. Our survival as human beings

counts on the connection between the mother and

the child’s emotional brain function. Our right brain

hemisphere (the emotional brain) develops during

the first two years when it absorbs nonverbal

language but learns of the maternal figure’s

emotional brain, such as senses, sounds, music, heart

beat, emotions, smiles, touch.

The paternal figure is dominant in the left brain

hemisphere: cognitive, language skills, and logic

take over usually after the age of three.

So, our templates are built on what moms have

projected onto us as children while in their arms.

The adults in later years who search for self-identity,

and the “true self” versus the “false self,” have had at

least one supportive emotional identity figure in

their lives after the age of three: a father, a neighbor,

a grandparent, a sibling, a teacher, a mentor, or

older siblings who have added to the proper left

brain nurturing following the primary years in

mother’s arms.

The adults who do not stay and address their

internal issues. They will often leave their “comfort

zone,” they will run, yet they always stay fused

internally and, often times, confused. They may not

learn to emotionally separate from their parental

figures but instead they maintain a homeostasis and

familiar patterns elsewhere or they will create their

own spiritual family. Ironically, the closer and more

fused a person is while growing up with their primary

attachment figure, the farther they will want to run,

but rarely do they self identify into discovering their

separate true indentity.

“To be rooted is perhaps the most important

and least recognized need of the human soul.”

—Simone Weil, The Need for Roots

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